A Movie Review

Home alone yesterday without any TV, phone or computer access so I decided to take in a movie. It was one of those things that I had no clue as to what was playing; kind of like going MacDonald's and looking at the menu. After perusing what was playing I still didn't have an idea so I asked a kid who was taking tickets what my choice should be. I should never do this. What do kids know, anyway. He said I should see a Leonardo DeCaprio film. It was titled either, Incentive, Invective, Destructive. It could have been something else but I forget---and thankfully so. It's a real bad sign when a person starts looking at their watch and the film has only been showing for thirty-five minutes. At the time I was thinking, I'd enjoy reading Pilgrim's Progress more than watching this catastrophe. The premise of the movie, I think, is DeCaprio has dreams to get in the minds of other people to make them do things they otherwise wouldn't do. He uses four or five people in his plan. His wife, dead we find out half way through, is screwing with his mind. But, hey, it's only a dream, right? I dunno. When the movie ended after a tedious two hours and twenty minutes I still didn't know what happened. I should receive an Oscar for sitting through it.
I've walked out of only three films in my life. The first one I can't even remember the name of but I know I walked out. The second was called, Romancing The Stone, with Michael Douglas and the once lovely and sexy, Kathleen Turner. Aging and hard living do terrible things to one's face and body. Ms. KT is living proof of that if you've seen her lately. Regardless, My then eight year old son was with me so after ten minutes of hearing two F bombs we got up and left. I was trying to set an example. To this day my son remembers.
The other movie I left was Dumb and Dumber. I was in Louisville on a business trip and hit the 5 pm show. Dumb and Dumber was that and the only one dumber than Jim Carey and what's his name, Jeff something, was me more shelling out the $5. After I left I probably went to a bar and watched Nickelodeon.
Getting back to DiCaprio: if you decide to attend please, oh please, comment on where I went wrong if you if your a movie afficianado and think otherwise . In the vernacular of today, it sucked, but remember, I'm only a PE Major so there's a lot I don't understand about films.