The Queen and I had to hang out for a couple of hours before our flight departed from Phoenix to Ohio yesterday. We arrived three hours ahead of our 2 pm departure. It wasn't my idea. What the Queen wants the Queen gets.
Word to the wise. Whenever you fly out of a major airport the first order of business is to head for the airline employee manning the ticket counter. Always let them know if the flight is overbooked you'd like to give up your seat. It works like a charm especially at the Sky Harbor Airport.
For the third time in succession we allowed our selves to be bumped. The result is we received $400 in credits each and ended up arriving in Columbus thirty minutes later than a scheduled arrival. It's like taking candy from a baby.
Sitting around airports translates to people watching time. I've learned long ago there is nothing better than a great looking women. The only problem is as I've grown older my standards have upped themselves. Yesterday, I saw a blond haired women with a very nice figure. Then I tried to put an age on her and got up to her late 70's. But---she still looked good. Plus, she was still breathing.
People in airports always talk. There's still the age old fear that there's danger in flying and a person next to you might be the last human on earth you can express one's true feelings. It's instant friendship.
I sat next to a man from California, age fifty or thereabouts. The best way to open a conservation goes like this. "So, what do you do for a living"?. Everybody likes talking about their jobs unless they happen to be named Rocco and come out of Vegas and are holstering a gun.
This guy, after telling me he was a blah-blah-blah computer something or other started babbling about his daughter. She just left San Francisco for Portland. My radar went up. Get this. He said she used to work for Nancy Pelosi but is now going to intern for Bernie Sanders. And would like to know what I said? Okay, then, I said not a word. Nothing at all but I was thinking of a specific word or two.
By the time we boarded I'd had six cups of coffee and immediately headed for the plane biffy. It was already occupied. Good Lord, a person was in there so long urine was coming out my ears. After five minutes a lady exited and I squeezed inside. Airplane bathrooms are small. It's like putting me in a size 40 sport coat and pants with a 32 inch waist. A guy needs a shoehorn to get in.
After I exited a stewardess was outside the door and off the cuff I asked, "Ever catch anyone trying to join the Mile High Club"? And she said, "Yes". "It was on a trip from Las Vegas and they both had been over served". As much as I tried I could not fathom how two humans could join that elite club with such limited space unless they were in the circus.
A year ago Her Majesty flew back from someplace. I was not home so she took a cab, a thirty minute drive to our home from our airport. She got nailed for a bill of $125.00. The guy was a Muslim, too. Had it have been me I'd have had him stop at the zoo. Then I'd have bought him a goat.
Anyway, we did the Uber thing for the first time. The tab was $35.00. You should do it for yourself. I can't without help, though. I'm not sure what an APP is or how it works. Only The Queen can do those pieces of wizardy.
God Save The Queen!
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