Sunday, January 1, 2017

An Invitation To Robbers & Thieves

Winter in Central Ohio is no bargain. Granted, cold and snow is minimal but the sun shines as much as I watch Oprah re-runs. We stayed last year but that was like death a thousand times over. To that I say, never again.

I've decided to send an invite to any crooks in Ohio who would like to B&E with a reasonable chance of stealing items with almost no value. We will be in western Arizona, in a condo, on the banks of the Colorado River for two months or until we get sick of it. You will be taking a chance because our neighbors are very attentive of each others property. Two own shotguns and one has a pitbull but, hey, the thrill is in the hunt.

The Queen asked me, "What if I don't like it in Arizona?". It's like my great uncle from Storm Lake, Iowa told his wife many years ago about heaven. He told her, If you don't like it tell me and we'll go someplace else. And that's the way it will be in Arizona.

Our vehicle pulls out of the condo tomorrow at 10:00 am or whenever we feel like it. Stops along the way as planned out by yours truly include Columbia, Missouri, Olathe, Kansas, Miami, Oklahoma, Amarillo, Texas and Gallup New Mexico. I especially wanted to stay here because I understand I can take a poll.

After Gallup it's on to Albuquerque. I've always wanted to visit this community which, by the way, has the 5th highest crime rate in the nation. The reason? Well, I don't want that we should be murdered. It's that I happen to be one of the very few Americans who can actually spell Albuquerque with consulting a dictionary.

Well be in Scottsdale, Arizona for a few days gloating over our grandchildren then it's onto the condo located halfway between Parker and Lake Havasu, Arizona.

I'm not going to divulge the exact date of our return in case I might catch future Dillinger's in the act. Hell hath no fury like an old man scorned.

Happy New Year everyone. Please wish us safe driving. This blog may be remiss in information in the next week but if my butt gets bit over a nonsensical piece of information I could change my mind.

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