Friday, December 17, 2010

Goo Goo Googly Eyes

Lizzie suggested I make a trip to the optometrist before the end of the year. It was one of those suggestions that didn't require a conversation. There are just some things that aren't worth the hassle. If she says eye doctor, well, okey-dokey by me. The same goes for a physical.
At any rate, Lizzie's best friend knows this woman who could use the business so the appointment was made. Eye doctor's office visits are all the same; the machine that poofs the eyeballs, read a chart, cover one eye with a wand and read the bottom line and finally, the obligatory put some drops in to dilate the pupils. I always ask, "will I be able to drive with my eyes the size of half dollars"? I get a "No problem" answer then proceed to drive home at 3 mph because I can't see my steering wheel.
I learned two things at the eye doctor's today. The reason I had to get my eyes tested right now is because in two weeks I'll be on Medicare and, unless we seniors have a cataract operation, we are without insurance. This makes sense to me since eyes for oldsters are like shoes worn daily. They wear out quickly and for old goats like me, if we were insured, we might as well put a cot in the eye doctor's office. Another thing I learned is glass frames cost more than a new Saab. Is it me or are these things outrageous in price? I didn't know if I was looking at the price of frames or a serial number on a hundred dollar bill. The final result was the least costly ones I could find came to 10 bucks over $150. I asked the poor slug who answered my incredulous questions: "Why so expensive". He answered that they were made of titanium(what happened to plastic) and they are a designer style. Aha, I'm paying for the Kobe steak of eye frames! "Sorry, pal, I think I'll stay with the 'cheaters' I'm wearing ". And do ya' know what I did next? I went home knowing I'd saved a bundle, smiling all the way, even though my pupils were still the size of basketballs.

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