Goodby & Hello

It's that time of year. Time to focus on how silly New Year's Eve is and what we old-timers don't miss out on when we hit the hay at 10 pm.
Consider how many gala events you've attended on December 31. Name one that was fabulous. Doubtful there were many.

Would you wager that the percentage of baby's conceived takes place between midnight and 3 am on January 1?

December 31, 1969: My buddy and I were in a building elevator in downtown Waterloo, Iowa and dateless. It was 5 pm. What a stroke of luck. With us were two dateless young ladies. Four young people, New Year's Eve and dateless. You figure it out. Understand these girl's weren't exactly homecoming queens. I'm sure they felt the same. I know we went somewhere but memories fade. Did we have a conversation? Was there eating, drinking, necking? Don't know because I can't remember. I do recall we found out my friend's date was pregnant but only by three months so she didn't show.
That was a plus.

This was my one and only New Year's Eve extravaganza. Of course, in almost exactly one year I was married. That makes a huge difference. Marriage and going out and acting silly don't go together.

Here posted are my New Year's Resolutions for 2011: I will continue to lie on my back, watch television and go to my favorite web sites on the computer.
I will tell all acquaintances I will lose weight;
all the while realizing I will keep traveling down the road to Fatville by shoveling unlimited calories in my pie hole.
I promise there isn't one golf course in the western hemisphere I that will escape my pathetic swing. Also, my golf course swearing will improve but still be said under my breath.
I promise to detest Obama policies and make fun of liberals for being dumber than retarded circus elephants. I promise to maintain my very dry sense of humor.
I will tell all within earshot I am 65 years old and to show me the respect I deserve. This will be cool because inside I'm laughing knowing being 65 doesn't me crap.

Happy New Year. It's been a fun 2010 and I'm a very lucky man.