Learning To Listen

Have you ever had the opportunity to be around great people and miss out on their talents and charisma because you didn't know how to listen? Then, later on, kick yourself for not taking advantage of that squandered opportunity. Think about all the men and women in our lives we've rubbed shoulders with who, if given the opportunity, could have imparted almost unlimited wisdom on us. I'm not talking about saying 'hi' to a movie star or famous athlete, either. I'm referring to every day Americans who've made their mark.

Reflect on your life and think about those who could have, and you don't know how I hate to write this, could have " made a difference in our lives". It reads so Tom Brokaw-ish, doesn't it?

I have a bad habit and it probably applies to a lot of us. We can be a poor listeners when conversing. I guess it's human nature to think that everything we say is Shakespearean in nature. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying. While people are speaking to us we're thinking about what we're going to say next. We only hear one side of the conversation and it's ours.

I get a kick out of characters who are successful. Usually, they exude self-confidence, have wonderful senses of humor and could give a whit what others think. Is it okay to say I'm in awe of these folks? They have so much to give if only we would listen.

My last boss is one of these guys. I hope he doesn't read this post because he'd be overly embarrassed. He's a real hero to me. I used to be and still am entranced in his presence; sit on his every word. He had the unique ability to make everyone feel important and that what they said is Gettysburg Address worthy. My boss has 38 patents to his name. We're talkin' 38! He's a Captain of Industry but you'd never know it. If you were in a room of 1,000 and had to pick him out it couldn't be done. His philosophy: always keep a low profile. He is a man of many talents. He invented the first titanium golf club. That, in itself is noteworthy. But, it goes even further. He invented a product that has saved world industries billions of dollars in maintenance costs. Put my boss up against Harry Reid--no contest. Actually, that's not a fair statement. Put me up against Reid. It'd be an easy smack down.

I used to carry around a small notebook and write down things he said off the cuff. One time I was distressed because of a business problem. He quickly said, "MJ, sit back, relax, and give it twenty-four hours. Things are never as bad as they seem". And he's right.

My next door neighbor is a character. He isn't dull by any stretch and that's why he's so much fun to be around. His home is a golf museum but he's not impressed with himself. His best friend is Jack Nicklaus. I encourage him tell stories about his other friendships: Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, President Gerald Ford, Arnold Palmer, Gary Player, and those were/are only some of his pals. I'm not in awe of the gentleman. It's that he's a walking, talking history book. Lots of times I'll go next door and he'll ask me in to visit. All the while he's sitting in his underwear and t-shirt, smoking a Marlboro Light. He could care less what others think. I like this attitude.

Great story about the guy! Wanna hear it? Okay, here we go. There's a very private golf course in New Albany, Ohio; men only. My neighbor was the president of the club for a particular year. One day he walked into the restaurant and was told that he couldn't get in without a sport coat. He was peeved since he was the head honcho. At any rate, some anger ensued but he went to his car to get his coat. When he came back into the restaurant he had the coat on but he was also in his underwear. What a guy! His wife confirmed this tale to me.

My college baseball coach is the best. He was the starting quarterback for the University of Iowa in 1952. He's also another hero. I may have referred to the following statement in the recent past but I sometimes ask friends, "was there a defining moment for you in college"? Was there one thing that sticks out that helped make you what you are today"? I usually get some answer like, "that night I got drunk and promised I'd never do that again", or, "when I was elected to student council".
For me, it was a baseball road trip and I 'had' to room with Coach. All that night I peppered him with questions about life and coaching and jobs but the thing that stood out was when he started talking about his wife and children ; how much he loved his wife and how special each child was in their own particular way. I immediately knew that I wanted what he had and from then on that was my focus and that night was my defining moment.

And, just think, all we have to do is listen. It's out there for all of us. I only brought up three people. Imagine, if you will, the thousands of others whose paths we've crossed who can provide us all with rules for living in a humerous and educational manner. Life is amazing.