When all is considered I didn't see that many things on the way to and coming home from Texas. I'd never seen a wild pig but did on the way to my brother in laws lake home. People tell me they're a nuisance. My buddy in Oklahoma said his deer hunting license specifically says, 'Pigs-no limit'.
Driving in Texas is different. There are five speed limits: 50, 55, 60, 65 and 70. A driver has to be on his toes since they can change, one to the other. in a heart beat. Trust me, I know. How can a driver be sandwiched between two vehicles and get a ticket? I fumed about it all the way back to Ohio.
I can be a cheap skate if I desire and reading directions are not my forte'. My philosophy is ready, fire, aim. I'm not very mechanical, either. Once, a long time ago, I took a six week class on the difference between a flat head and phillips screw driver. When I was in Iowa I had a decision to make before filling my gas tank. Regular unleaded was going for $3.00 and something called 10% ethanol was priced at $2.72. Hmmm. Yes or no? Yes or no? That little voice kept saying, 'no'. My stupid voice said, 'go for it'. Readers, never under any circumstance put corn in your car engine. My gas mileage went from 30 per gallon down to 20 and stayed that way for five total fills.
Lizzie and I made the twenty hour drive home on I-30 and I-40 across Texas, Arkansas and Tennessee. I've never seen more semi trucks in my life. They all play the vertical shuffle, too. Three for four trucks play a game where they constantly pass each other. As I pull up to go around one of these behemoths it pulls out in front of me causing a quick brake by me. It then attempts to pass it's partner at 0.000000000001 mph faster than the other is going. This is when my swearing goes from under my breath to uber loud. The game gets even worse because the passer makes his move going up a grade, decides it can't get around, then slowly falls back to get behind the passee. After this it's not long before we start the game over.
I-30 took us through Arkansas. This was detestable for me. I'd never been there but the thought of going through Bill Clinton's home state bothered me worse than experiencing a case of the shingles. I promised myself I wouldn't spend one dime before I got to Tennessee. Around 7 pm I was getting hungry and saw a Sonic burger chain store in some little hamlet. Sonic is one of my son's clients so I thought, "it's not actually going to hurt since I'm promoting my boy. My son designed the comic work books and toys put in the children's hamburger sacks. I ordered a chicken sandwich, catsup, mustard, pickles and extra onions. The waitress was a very cute high school girl with a syrupy southern drawl. She must have called me 'sir' ten times before I placed my order. I liked this and I liked her. At any rate, just to make conversation, I mentioned that my son had designed the aforementioned toys and games they supplied. Land o'goshen. It was as though Justin Bieber, Jewel, Taylor Swift and every super hero created by Marvel comics descended on this one little Sonic at the same time. The cheerleader yelled at the other workers about my relationship with my creative offspring. The staff all gathered around to have their picture taken with me. People, these kids must lead very, very boring, not to mention, sheltered lives. I can only imagine what happened at the local high school the next day. Do ya' think there was a pep rally in my honor? It's impossible to fathom what the old-time dps'ers*** on the corner benches at First St. and Main had to say. I wish I could remember the name the burg. The newspaper headline the next day must have been a doozy.
***dead pecker society
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