Hammer Toes

Getting older has some advantages but not many. I recall being in the classroom in 1988, my last year of teaching. I taught Advanced Placement American History which means my students could count to 100 and knew that our President lived in Washington DC. One day and off topic the subject of great looking women came up and I ran off a list of top 10'ers of whom half were were closing in on forty and one or two upwards of that. As might be expected I received groans and ughs from the crowd. "Class", I said, "You have the disadvantage of seeing things through 17 year-old eyes. Your appreciation of beauty stops when American Bandstand goes off the air." You know those eyes I was referring to? I received a picture of some of the ladies from our Class of '64 reunion and I thought to myself, "Man, she's lookin' hot" I don't know if my eyes are changing or if it's my perception of life. To me, Julie Andrews in many ways, compares favorably to Megan Fox.
I do know my body is changing and it's not a pretty site. I used to be pigeon-toed. It helped when I played sports; I ran forward instead of side to side. Yesterday, I took a walk(waddle) in the snow to get the mail. My pigeon-toed feet had turned outward; 180 degrees from my belly button. The silent movie star, Fatty Arbuckle, walked that way.
My five year old grandchildren, Oscar and Evie, recently had the misfortune of seeing me with my socks off. They cringed in fear. It seems some of my toenails are turning dark in certain spots. I can only imagine what they thought: "Grandpa's a freak. Put him in the attic". To add pain to misery I have been plagued my entire life with 'hammer toes'. For sixty-four years, unless forced, my toes have never touched a carpet or piece of lineolum. I've got a ditty I do for one of my friends. I pretend I'm the "Toe Man" and am part of a circus sideshow. When I'm finished he has tears in his eyes from laughing.
One of the truly great things about getting older is that the changing of the body is met with a, "who cares". When I gain weight I put it on in the chest. Recall the Seinfeld episode where George's father wears the 'bro' or 'mansierre'. That could be me EXCEPT, "I don't care". Who do I need to impress at my age, Angela Lansberry?
I'll be hooking up with seven classmates from that '64 class in two weeks in Arizona. I have not seen three of them in forty-five years. I can hardly wait to go. Just as long as I can keep my socks on and don't have to take my shirt off I'll be one happy guy. The really cool thing is, I've still got a lot of hair.