Facebook

Are you on Facebook? If you aren't you might be the only human being who isn't. I signed up for Facebook about three years ago. After thirty minutes or thereabouts my thought was, "this is kind of stupid". I know about as much about Facebook as I do constructing a nuclear weapon. My son mentioned about a 'thread' and I was clueless.
Anyway, I did it again a month ago, signed up, that is. I'd like to get off but I can't figure out how to do it.
I hope my friends on Facebook don't take offense but what's the purpose? I have people on my email list who want to be my friend. These are close friends. Why don't they send me a personal note or, and this would be novel, call me on something called A TELEPHONE!
I used to believe that anyone over the age of fifty only used Facebook to feel like they belonged. It would be kind of like being in the Elks or Lions; maybe even the PTA. Better still, I thought they were looking to reconnect to that high school girlfriend who so lovingly tittered their fancy. Not so anymore. Everyone has joined but, once again, why? As much of a simpleton as I can be I'd write a gossipy note and proceed to insult monks, the Pope, homeless people I'll never meet and transvestites. That's why I stay away from it. There's no sense to make an ass out of myself in front of 300 billion people when I can do it walking down main street.
My wife has a very good friend. They are like Lucy and Ethel. They call each other fifteen times daily. They talk about recipes, grand kids, movies, you name it. Lizzie's friend asked her to be her friend on Facebook. Go figure!
Lizzie and I were on our condo patio this evening watching the sun go down. It's quite romantic. She looked at me and asked the question that led me believe could consummate our love later in the evening. "MJ", she said, "would you be my friend on Facebook"?