A Nice Vocation

The Queen and I arrived in Destin, Florida yesterday afternoon fighting off forty-five mile an hour winds and beach waves that crept to the base of our condo. It was nearly enough to make us want to drive straight through to Ohio and suffer the slings and arrows of a winter storm; almost but not quite.
Today started out the same with a wind chill of forty degrees or less. Lizzie decided it was the perfect day for us to take a walk. It turned out to be an hour jobber and for me that's a haul. Anyway, we happened to glide by Resurrection Catholic Church. You know what? Being a Catholic priest in Florida would be a pretty good gig. Why, if I happened to be single again I might go through the Holy Orders ceremony and work for a parish in the sunshine state. Recall two weeks ago when I mentioned that just after our homily there was a list of nine parishioners who had gone to meet their Maker. Not to be outdone eleven more souls followed suit the next week. Priests receive a stipend(gift) every time they perform a funeral ceremony. Aside from free housing, food, a car and gas paid for plus a house keeper they receive cash for doing weddings and funerals. Now, if my Bishop ordered me to some hamlet in Minnesota or South Dakota I'd have to say, "no way, "Bish". I'd tell him, "Gimme an assignment anyplace south of Sarasota and that's that". On average, and it's a weak tabulation that this stipend comes to about $50 per. With an average of eight deaths a week that comes to $400. Tally this toll for 52 weeks; fifty dollars here and fifty dollars there and pretty soon we're talking real money. That's enough to spend a bunch of time in Vegas and you know what they say, "what happens there stays there".
Let's face it. Priesting might be better than a real job and if there happens to be some serious self guilt just go to confession and give yourself absolution for your own sins. Life can be easy if you wish it to be.
Life can be so easy if I only put my mind to it.