Is It Texting Or Is It Memorex?

Lawdy, lawdy it's embarrassing living in the 21st century with all these new fangled gadgets and technology. I do believe it's the reason God set our life expectancy rates so the next generation can handle future inventions with ease while us old-timers fade into the sunset. True story. A month ago I visited the Dublin Public Library due to my computer contracting a virus. So, I sauntered in and sat down at a row of six computers. I thought it was strange and kind of funny there were five year olds sitting next to me looking at mini screens. They were all playing games and I was clueless as to how they worked--as if I wanted to. One of the toothless kindergartners kiddies pointed to the 'big people' computers and said, "You belong over there", so off I went. I may have hears giggling but I'm not sure.
Lizzie and I were driving to Springfield, Ohio to see the grandkids a month ago and she was fiddling with my cell phone when she said, "you have text messages". "Egg on my face", I thought. I had no idea about a text and if I did I couldn't have figured out how to open it so she did it for me. I told her to erase them so after she had done this to 37 of the 97 messages she told me her fingers were tired and would finish later. Later happened to be three days ago when all of a sudden she yelled at me, "You've got porn pictures on this phone"! There were two pictures which I wasn't allowed to see and then I got blamed because I happened to know people(men) who sent porn. What is it with women? Every man I know, some time in his life, has sent out sexually suggestive jokes or pictures but I got the blame because I knew them. I have a priest friend who sends sexually suggestive jokes. An elder in a church does the same. I do know the photo's came from 989 area code which is in Michigan so I can sort of put my finger on who sent it except I haven't talked with him for four years. I guess if a person has to send out porn time stands still when men are men.
Last night I figured out how to get at the text messages still in my phone vault. I had four from 2010 asking me if I wanted to go golfing and/or fishing. My stock broker sent me one showing his new boat and another of his granddaughter holding a shot gun she won at some event. In addition, he had fourteen other texts dating back two years. What a shocker if I'd have received a text from the lottery commission saying I had twenty-four hours to pick up my million dollars; six months ago.
After these adventures a normal person would think that texting would become an integral part of my life from this day forward. But you'd be wrong if you said in the affirmative. I could care less. Besides, by the time I figured out how to do it I'd be dead which is the way God meant it to be.