Thursday, August 30, 2012

An Interview With Chris Matthews

More than laff filled:

Playboy Interview: Chris Matthews

Home - by BigFurHat - August 30, 2012

BIGFURHAT – Let’s cut through all the crap cake. I’m really not interested if you have lust in your heart. I’m more interested in whatever else is festering in there.
CHRIS MATTHEWS – Festering, eh? I see that this is going to be a tough interview.
BFH: Tough? Nope. Easy. I’m just going to read to you a series of statements about Barack Obama, and I want you to tell me if you think they are racist or not. Okay?
CM: Ya, gahead.
BFH: Joe Biden said of Barack Obama, “you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Is that racist?
CM: Nope. I know Joe Biden. Joe Biden isn’t a racist.
BFH: John Boehner said, “Barack Obama needs to get a bit more fiscally responsible.” Is that racist?
CM: Absolutely. “Fiscally responsible,” c’mon, who are you trying to kid?
BFH: Do you know John Boehner?
CM: No.
BFH: Harry Reid said that Obama had no negro dialect. Is that racist?
CM: No. He explained himself. He said he had no idea the term negro was offensive. He’s old. He used an archaic word.
BFH: Sarah Palin said that Obama was a pretty good basketball player. Racist?
CM: Of course it is. What world are you living in?
BFH: President Clinton said of Obama, “A few years ago this guy would have been getting us coffee.” Racist?
CM: It was obviously an insight about how far African Americans have gotten under the left’s guidance.
BFH: Ann Coulter says that she can relate to Obama because he smokes cigarettes too. Racist?
CM: Yes
BFH: Barney Frank said that Obama is tall and thin, and the odds are he is probably hung like Mandingo. Racist?
CM: He didn’t mean “hung” in the bad way.
BFH: Last week Romney remarked that Obama seemed to be going negative with his campaign ads.
CM: Racist
BFH: Bill Maher said that he wants Obama to be more black, that he should take to the podium with a gun and say, “I’m the motherf*cking preezy and if you don’t like it I’ll put a cap all up your azz.”
CM: And?
BFH:Rush Limbaugh said that Barack Obama…
CM: Racist
BFH: I didn’t ask you anything.
CM: Doesn’t matter.
BFH: Georges Soros said that if he wasn’t funding Obama he’d still be in the Negrohood with his bullhorn, doing what he knows best, signing up illiterate ghetto dwellers so he could cheat his way into power and perpetuate the spiraling downward of black culture.
CM: Your point being?
BFH: These words were pulled out of context at the Republican National Convention. I’m just going to say them and you tell me if they are racist or not:
BFH: Debt
CM: Racist
BFH: Constitution
CM: Racist
BFH: Health Care
CM: Racist
BFH: Marriage
CM: Racist
BFH: Budget
CM: Racist
BFH: Podium
CM: Racist
BFH: Podium?? Podium is racist?
CM: Podium makes you think of teleprompter. Talking about teleprompters is racist.
BFH: Okay, here are words taken out of context from the 2008 Democratic National Convention. Tell me if they are racist or not.
BFH: Debt
CM: No
BFH: Constitution
CM: Naa
BFH: Health Care
CM: Nope
BFH: Marriage
CM: Negative
BFH: Budget
CM: No
BFH: Podium
CM: No
BFH: Wait a minute. A second ago you said podium made you think of teleprompter and that was racist.
CM: Ya, but now it’s making me think of Greek columns. Greek columns are good.
BFH: I think we’re done.
CM: Good. I’m a little creeped out by your racism.
BFH: What did I do?
CM: It’s what you’re not doing. Every time you said the name Obama I looked to see if you were getting excited, you know, in the pants. You failed to get..
BFH: Alright. So long.
Security!

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