Thursday, January 7, 2016

How To Eradicate Poverty In America(For A Little While)

It's not often I have an epiphany but I had one yesterday. After stopping at the Speedway gas station for my favorite cup of brew it was only a four block drive to the Westerville, Schrock Road golf driving range.

In that period of time I solved the poverty problem in America. It was so simple I don't know why it hasn't been brought up before. "Golly gee Ned, I sometimes scare myself with my brilliance"

You see, while at Speedway, I purchased three Power Ball numbers which set me back six bucks. I know, I know, I might as well have thrown the money in the street but I only do this when the lottery reaches $500 million.

As my car pulled out of the lot it hit me. There are 100 million households in the U.S. making our population around 320 million. If the winner is a Christian and generous of heart he or she could easily come up with the names of these families and donate one million dollars to each. He could even put a stipulation for the families who get the gift. Let's say anyone who makes over $500,000 will receive zippo. If the winner gave the rest of the folks one million dollars(taxes would reduce this to $500,000) that'd be one heck of a deal for them.

Most people will go out and blow the cash on one thing or another. People are that way. How do I know this? It's because 90% of the population do not have a maximum of $1,000 in savings. Scary, huh?

The money these 'spenders' use will go back into the economy and the more they spend the more tax cash will go back in the government coffers(as if they need it).

The beauty of my idea is this. If the winner gave away $100 million they would still have $159 million for themselves(their gift after the initial tax to the stupid government for doing nothing). I mean, how much money does it take to make people happy. I could get by on two million and that'd  be a bonanza worthy of a king.

In order for my plan to take effect only one thing needs to happen. The winner has to be the kindest, most generous person ever; almost Jesus like.

Now, I'm under no delusions. I'm almost 100% positive the winner will be either an illegal immigrant of a longtime welfare recipient. But, it could be this person will become so saint-like they'll be more than happy to make the rest of the country feel as they do; blessed.

Better yet, since there was no winner last evening next Saturday's drawing will up the total to close to $750 million or high--maybe even one billion dollars.

Personally, I'll opt out of the gift taking. Give me a brat a beer and a ballgame anytime then I'm as happy as a bee in a hive.

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