Ol' MJ is sitting in the kitchen pondering what I want to be in my next life. Folks, it's not even close. I want to be a 1,250 lb., ten point buck--a buck as in 'deer'. They do three things extremely well: They have voracious appetites. They poop large mounds of marble sized dung and, depending on size and virility, procreate with the most attractive doe(s) in the neighborhood. A fourth reason for being a buck is they have strength far beyond Superman. They are able to leap in front of an oncoming car that greets it head on thereby destroying the entire grill and headlights of the vehicle. After performing this circus maneuver Bambi's dad can slide up the windshield causing the glass to take on all kinds of spider web designs. Then, and this is almost magical, it can slide along the top of the roof leaving hoof skid marks, fly off the car and sprint like Seabiscuit leaving the gate into the woods---completely unscathed. It's a trick Harry Houdini would rave about.
After all is said and done I have only one comment to make. "IT SUCKS TO BE ME"!
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