Reconnecting And Passing It Forward

It's wonderful when a friend calls asking if I'd like to get together for coffee. It's especially nice when we can catch up on old times. I have a long time friendship with a buddy and it began the very first day I joined a golf club in 1999. You know what I remember most about that day? We walked the golf course, talked and got to know each other and we laughed. Those days are long gone. Not the talking and laughing, of course. Now we take carts. Anyway, we spent two hours at a nearby Starbucks today talking about fun we've had in the past and what we hope for the future.
In the course of our conversation I mentioned how important it is for me to reconnect with people from my past and let them know how important they were in my life.
Five years ago I was in my man cave and I heard the phone ring. Lizzie answered then yelled downstairs, "It's for you and someone is asking for Coach". Wow! I hadn't been called that in twenty years. The kid, a man now, on the other end played basketball and football for me and was a classroom student of mine. He was taking a college class to get his Master's degree and one of the assignments was to call three people who had made a significant impact on them in a positive way. Well, I was honored as anyone would be. We chit-chatted for twenty minutes and concluded the conversation.
For the next three hours I reflected on that phone conversation and came to understand this young man did more than thank me. He created a desire for me to do the same thing to others. Too often, when thinking about our past and how we dealt with people and situations, we tend to focus on the negative. As a teacher I think back on how I could've done a better job in handling students or how I embarrassed them in front of their peers of left a negative impression on them. I had to have done some good along the way and made a positive impact but except for a few instances rarely heard about it until my former student called.
Since that magical phone call I've been on a quest to reconnect with those from my past who made me laugh, think, become a better person so I've set out to do something about it.
It took forty years but I learned to appreciate my college roomie who I love and trust so much I begged him to become my stockbroker--and he lives in Oklahoma. Every day I can count on 'The Buffer' to send me a 'good morning' email when I open my messages. If he didn't send one I'd call the Miami, Oklahoma police and have them put out an APB.
There's a man who lives in Springs, Texas. We were high school classmates but lost track of each other for forty-five years. I did see him when a crew of us got together for a golf outing in Arizona in '09 but then there was a connection void. In the last six months we've become like brothers. There isn't anything I can't tell him or he can't tell me. It is so thrilling to make a new friend and be able to share sadness and laughter.
I was the head basketball coach at a high powered high school in Davenport, Iowa in 1974. My assistant was with me for one year then moved to Des Moines. I cried the day he left.
Reconnection? You bet. I called him once since then in 2001 and recently sent a letter telling him how important he was in my life.
Since this blog started three years ago I have made another 'best friend'. He lives in Council Bluffs, Iowa. He was in a class in our high school six years ahead of me which means if he saw me as a 7th grader he could've squashed me the way a tractor tire does a bug. Now, we're pals. Along with his wife we got together in Iowa for two days last year. We had been communicating for two years but never personally met. He gave me a gift; a coffee mug with a map of Iowa and pictures of special places in the state. It probably set him back $4 but I'll treasure it forever because when I look at it I'll think of his thoughtfulness.
I could be doing all of this reconnecting to make me feel better about myself. I hope I'm also doing it to make other's feel even better about themselves. Life is so short and everyone is a good person to someone else.
You can think what you want but when we all were young we were so into ourselves our petty grievances might have lasted years and years. How silly is this?
I've had some wonderful things happen to me in the last three days. an email from a dear friend was sent from Winston-Salem North Carolina, my buddy asked me out for coffee, my pal in Oklahoma emailed again this morning, my Texas 'brother' emailed again last night and the man who was best man in my wedding asked me to spend Friday evening with him for dinner.
If these people didn't care they wouldn't do it.
Lucky me.