Thursday, March 22, 2012

What's In Your Wallet?

There are around six different wallets in my dresser drawer. Don't ask me why. Wallets don't wear out and God forbid I should lose one. I change wallets the way most people change underwear. Sometimes I'll buy one on a whim. There was that time I was in the Orlando airport and walked by a PGA golf store. I saw the leather wallet with a PGA logo on it and decided I absolutely had to have one. "Maybe it'll make me play better", I thought. It was small; room for a couple of credit cards and had a piece of metal to hold dollar bills. After six months I tired of it and went for the big boy wallet. It's an actual billfold with two different slots for cash separated by a flimsy piece of cloth. It also had room for ten credit cards. I like it but every time I'd put it in my back pocket I couldn't get it out. My butt is so large it got wedged in and was an absolute pain to remove. Right now I'm carrying a black leather cowhide that has a clip on the back for money. On the inside is a slot for credit cards and on the other side an area to hold bulk items. This part drives me insane. Every time I drop the wallet everything inside of it goes flying. This morning I decided to look and see exactly what valuable items I carry around. I've taped two pieces of information on the outside; one is the address of a guy who lives at our Minnesota lake who I haven't seen since '64. I've had it there for three years. Maybe I'll give him a call this year. The other is of a book I want to read. On the inside I carry your normal Master Card and Huntington Bank debit card. I have a Player's Club card for 50% of on Florida golf courses. It expired last month. I should throw it away. I have a dental insurance care, a medicare card and one for my prescriptions. I don't have a voter ID card but I do have a driver's license. That should count for something. I signed up for a senior citizen Golden Buckeye card. That one gives me 10% off at places like Wendy's.
I came across a PGA business card from some guy at The Golf Village; never heard of him or that place. I met a guy at the golf course yesterday and he sells cheap prescription pills. I didn't have the heart to tell him I didn't need his card but only took it because I forgot his name ten seconds after he told me. CVS Pharmacy handles my prescriptions. I had to have their card. They say I'll get discounts. I also carry a Walgreen's card. I had to have it for when I visit my son in Kansas. They were a test state for the card but now have decided to do away with it. I wonder why I still have it. I have four business cards from Scioto Reserve Country Club in Dublin, Ohio. I resigned from the club last year so maybe they should go in the garbage bin. Do you have a Sam's Club and Costco card? I do. Oops! I have Lizzie's AAA card. Whenever I'm on the road and have to use it I conveniently place by thumb over her name. There's an American Red Cross card in my wallet. Evidently, I have special blood. It's O negative. They take my red blood cells instead of the blood.
My son makes beer as a sideline. He gave me his beer card. I don't drink beer anymore and since I know who he is and where he lives and all of his phone numbers I'm clueless as to why I need it. When I had a hip replacement the hospital gave me a card to show the TSA people so I don't have to be arrested when the bells go off as I walk through security. It makes no difference. The TSA doesn't recognize it so why do I have it? I just came across two library cards; one for Dublin and the other for Minnesota. I almost forgot. I also carry two cards from Kroger and Giant Eagle food stores. Eagle gives gas discounts. Kroger might, too. Did I mention that I have a card for the Columbus Zoo? Gotta have one of those for when the grand children come for a visit. The same goes for our Muirfield Village swimming pool. The last time I went swimming was in '56.
I write tons of notes to myself so I don't forget things I'm supposed to do but after awhile I can't recall why I have them. I'll keep them awhile longer. Maybe something will ring a bell.
Well, that's about it except that I haven't gone through my other billfolds lying somewhere around the house. I know, I know, this was an uninspiring blog post but consider it a PSA. Check your wallet to see how much junk you have. After even greater consideration it's no wonder I can't get the darned thing out of my back pocket. It's like carrying around a wheelbarrow.

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