Monday, December 19, 2016

Advice For Liberals About The Electoral College From MJ Hawkeye

There are many, many liberals sitting on pins and needles this morning hoping electors change their minds about Donald Trump receiving their votes for the presidency. If you happen to be one from the Far Left I'd appreciate it if you would continue reading if it is your desire no Republicans ever again achieve the highest office in the land.

My suggestion for all liberals is to enroll in an Electoral College near you.

There is no main campus but the largest area of concentration for liberals is located in New York City, our nations largest metropolis. There are satellite schools across the nation, most notably Chicago, Los Angeles and other areas controlled by admirers of Fidel Castro. What you need to do is locate in that area best suiting your needs and find the mayors of these cities who meet them. Determine their communist tendencies. This is a must scenario.

You should be aware of the uniqueness of your Electoral College. First, in order to be allowed entrance no high school diploma is required. Obviously, there is no dress code and no one will ever be denied entrance for using vile, vulgar and foul language. As a matter of fact the College encourages members to never bathe.
There is no cafeteria for students but the administration will provide EBT cards. Luckily, these were obtained from the IRS during the Obama administration. There are enough to last into the next millennium.

The special part of being a graduate of the College are the gifts received when you take your place in the world. Protesting placards will be delivered to your doorstep the first Friday of every month for the rest of your life. Pens, crayolas are optional. You will also be given a booklet loaded with all encompassing slogans. As an example, "Hey, hey, ho ho (fill in the blank) gotta go". 2016 saw the rise of new and everlasting slogans: "Pigs in a blanket. Fry 'em like bacon". This is a classic and should be memorized immediately.

As a graduate you will have complete and total 24 hour access to informational call centers around the country. Aides from the Center For American Progress, inspired and funded by those who have received their diplomas from our university, will be available to offer tips ranging along a variety of preferred methods. Examples of this might be: How to firebomb cars and buildings using the least amount of accelerants, avoiding areas of a community which may fight back. Always destroy ghetto areas and especially, communities of the poor. Chances are better than 50/50 the government will quickly move in to provide taxpayer funds. They'll then remind you of their most successful slogan to illustrate; 'Hands up, don't shoot".

The uniqueness of the Electoral College for Liberals is an IQ level below 80 will not keep one from matriculating. There are no standards for civility. No examinations are ever given and you will still receive a diploma. The school encourages it's graduates to move back in with their parents. On your diploma, at the bottom, it reads NO RESPONSIBILITY EVER.

There ya' are liberals. Now go for it.

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