Congratulations to Adele Dunlap, maybe, on now being the oldest living American. The New Jersey native assumed the title when her predecessor assumed room temperature.
It seems to me this is a somewhat dubious honor. You just know there's someone waiting in the wings to take away Ms. Dunlap's crown.
It wouldn't be so bad if the Feds or State government gave her a new bike or a set of snow boots. At least a cake layered with dollar bills would be a bonus.
Personally, these old age stories depress me. The 'winner' of these contests is in a nursing home with a wheelchair as their main source of movement. They can barely keep their chins off the chest. Spittle runs down their lips then pools in the lap. Nurses will then shower Adele with cards. Someone will bring out a cake with enough candles to ignite the great Chicago Fire. "Happy Birthday To You' follows then Adele will go back to her room for her fifth nap of the day.
When I looked at Adele's picture I could imagine her saying, "Who are these people and why am I here"?
For some reason it seems to me the oldest people in the world with the longest life spans are the Japanese; probably from being slight in stature and existing off fish heads and rice.
In my mind old age, really old age, is a bummer. These golden years aren't what they're cracked up to be unless one happens to be a fan of the Chicago Cubs.
No comments:
Post a Comment