Titanic vs. Bill Clinton

Students at a local college were assigned to read two books, “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton.
They were asked to do a book report and contrast the 2 books.
One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

Titanic: Cost = $29.99
Clinton : Cost = $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Roses dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica’s.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Lets not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewellery.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica… Ooh, lets not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary; basically the same thing.

His professor gave him an A+
-Keith