Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Is This Overkill Or Were They Suspected 'Turnip Terrorists'?

My son returned from a fishing trip in Ontario this afternoon. Two groups came across the border in different cars and approached the US Customs agents. I've gone through the border hundreds of times and have learned when asked a question to do one thing and that is to lie. A guy can avoid a big hassle. For instance, when I was crossing into Canada I would be asked the reason for entering. Instead of saying, "I'm going to Hamilton and call in the steel mills then onto Toronto to sell my product to a couple of paper mills and a few breweries". I would tell them, "I'm having dinner with my Canadian distributor". It's easy and it works.
When I came back to the US it'd be something that had nothing to do with my job. It's why I always carried fishing tackle with me. In the winter I'd put in skates and a hockey stick.
Back to my kid. His group crossed the border and were waved on through. The second group was asked the normal questions: "Do you have alcohol, tobacco, produce"? All answers were in the negative but their car was searched anyway. Well, they had forgotten there were four potatoes and two green peppers in the trunk. The group was immediately arrested for bringing contraband into the US and fined $300. I've dealt with these Barney Fife's so many times I'm not surprised. A dollar to a donut that guard would have pocketed the cash. I was crossing into Canada in '92 and for some reason couldn't get in. The border guard took me aside and told me he'd let me through if I had $500. It was another "Eat Me" moment.

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