As you well know I'm the king of making trips to local doctors. If there's a week that does by without me sitting in a medical office then assume the world has come to an end. Doctors and, especially, their help are my very best friends.
On Veteran's Day I visited my eye doctor. He's a good guy and member of my church. I always try and support the folks who share my pew. My eyesight wasn't up to snuff so I thought it was time to give him my time and Medicare cash.
The nurse, however, thought it'd be more beneficial to see a Dr. Cho. He happens to be the surgeon dealing with facial features above the mouth. I was intrigued except the word 'surgery' isn't on my all-time list of favorites.
Dr. Cho's nurse gave me an eye exam. I was told to follow a light right to left, up and down. When I saw the light I'd let her know. The test, to say the least, was an eye opener(pretty good, huh). After I completed her request she then lifted my eyebrows ever so slightly. Amazingly, my field of vision doubled in all directions. I figured that this would be a boon when driving and having the ability to see good looking women much more quickly.
I waited for Dr. Cho to enter the room. Obviously, I thought he'd be a Charlie Chan look alike but he was Caucasian. Maybe he was adopted but I didn't care if he was half man half horse as long as he knew what he was doing. The date for my surgery was slated for Dec.7, Pearl Harbor Day which could be my day of infamy. I thought this was coincidentally eerie and told everyone within earshot. Really I was showing off my historical knowledge, pompous ass that I am.
I arrived home from my surgery an hour ago and feel good. Prior to going in my eyebrows hung down as though 5 lb. weights were attached to each one. At present they look like the opposite of smiley faces. They are giving me a surprised look. I hope it's do to the swelling. I took a couple of Tylenol but asked The Queen to drive on down to Walgreen's and pick up a case of Percocet just in case.
At this time I'm experiencing swelling that gives me the appearance of Eddie Munster. Not good.
I gave Dr. Cho a couple of requests prior to the surgery. I do not, under any circumstances, want to feel pain. I'm a big baby when it comes to feeling hurt. My pain tolerance is below zero with ten being what a women would experience giving birth two twenty babies naturally and,
"Dr. Cho, if I end up looking like Nancy Pelosi rest assured I will find you and I will kill you".
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