Lexophilia, Of Course

Venison for dinner again?  Oh deer!

 

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

 

Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.

When chemists die, they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job

because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?   A thesaurus.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough

Velcro - what a rip off!