It's Great To Be An Iowa Boy

I get a big kick out of people. In twenty years of traveling around various states I've come across some beauts. Years ago, before GPS, I was going to make a call on a Sunoco refinery in southern Ohio. That evening I pulled into a Holiday Inn for a night's rest then got up early the next morning. I had a vague idea that the refinery was close by. In making conversation with the desk clerk I mindlessly asked if she knew where Sunoco was located. Her answer: "Uh, don't know". Well, I was a little nervous so I got in my car and started driving all the while hoping I had the correct location. I actually drove three whole miles when I saw the Sunoco plant. Ray Charles couldn't have missed it. Had that woman been living in crater her entire life?
Today, I went to downtown Columbus to take advantage of early voting. There were a bevy of elderly ladies acting as helpers. It so happened I was wearing my Iowa Hawkeye stocking cap. One of the gals asked, "Iowa, is that near Idaho"? I'm not kidding on this. I would have been flabbergsted but it's happened before. But wait, it gets better. Another lady chimed in, "Is there a lot of snow in Iowa"? Me, being a smart ass saw the door opened so it was now my cue to get silly. "Tons and tons. They get as much snow as people in Alaska", I said. "And the cold. It's like being on Mt. Everest". Then she innocently asked me, "Do they have highway equipment to keep the roads clear"? Aha! I saw my chance. "Well", I answered, "Up until five years ago the DOT had to use horses and wagons but then the internal combustion came to the state and snow isn't really a problem anymore". Of course, they said something like, "Ah pshaw" then chuckled. I waved good-bye and told them I'd see them in church. That's a good 'leave 'em happy' response.
Call me pompous or whatever you wish but I'm telling you Iowans might be considered hicks throughout parts of the country east of Indiana but if there was a refinery three miles east of Boone a three year old would know it. What in the world do they teach in schools these days?