How Will Life Be Different Post Virus

Yeah, I know. I promised a couple of days ago I wouldn't write about the 'you know what' but I need to. Yesterday I blogged about how to get to sleep at night if you have trouble. I said a person, me especially, should say to himself, "Don't think, don't think" for thirty seconds and they'll fall asleep in two minutes. I did it again last night. It didn't work.

So, I started contemplating about what life would be like after the 'you know what' is over. Some of these suggestions came from written reports. Others came from me.

I read that all you can eat restaurants will be a thing of the past. Evidently the sneeze bar was only a pretend. Actually, this will be good. Have you ever checked out the people who feed at a Golden Corral trough? They give new meaning to the word obese. From now on these folks will have to cut down their caloric intake or order double and triple meals.

We're often told, from lemons comes lemonade. There are going to be hundreds of liberal colleges closing their doors. All across the nation a kid can go online to do his studies. In Columbus one of our local stations shows advertisements from Arizona State University. But, but, but you might say what about the number of Sociology and Philosophy Majors who will be unable to get their degrees. "Hey, go to work for the sanitation department. It's the same."

The Catholic Church is in the mix. Right before communion we always have the handshake of peace. I don't like this, never did. Sometimes when I don't feel like doing the handshake I'll lie to the person who has extended their hand and say, "I have a cold." They nod approvingly and say, "Thank you for your kindness." I don't have to lie anymore. The handshake is now in the dustbin of history.

There will be no more hugs when people greet each other. This is another one of my no-no's especially when guys do it. It's too gay for me. Also, the snooty elites seemingly will greet one another and plant a kiss on each cheek. I bet when they do this they're saying to themselves, "I hate this bitch but I want to look good."

I used to go to bars. I wonder if the use of beer glasses will be history. I suspect beer will be served in a bottle. Bars will require patrons to keep a distance. This is not good if a guy is trying to put the moves on a hot babe.

As I said there will be no handshakes anywhere. Also no high fives, fist bumps; only elbow bumps.

Crime might go down. Let's say a crook goes into a home to rob it. Now they might be fearful that the robbee is infected. I'm being facetious of course.

I'll give you an example of how I'm giving in to this virus stuff. I went to Costco to fill up. In doing so I have to punch in my credit card number then  pick up the gas handle. I overcame this challenge by putting one of Charlie's poop bags over my hand. Is that creative or what?

Anyway, I've only hit the tip of the proverbial iceberg on changes. I'm sure you can come up with others depending on your lifestyle. Some of you may be cannibals. I know your food habits are going to change if they haven't already.