Sunday, April 5, 2020

Coronavirus Tips From The AMA



The American Medical Association has weighed in on the Pandemic and Trump's health care package:  

  • The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. 
  • The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.  
  • Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.  
  • Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!”  
  • The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.  
  • Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.  
  • The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter.” 
  • The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. 
  • Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.  
In the end, the Proctologists won out; they will leave the decision up to the assholes in Washington, after giving them the finger.
Thanks to Bob from Delaware for this bit of wit.

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