MJ Hawkeye Is In The Race

Today, January 21 in the year of our Lord 2019 MJ Hawkeye is officially in the race for the presidency representing the Common Man Party.

I was reluctant to join but with the love and encouragement from family and friends I've decided to make the leap so I can go to work for the American people. I want all of you to know I'm going to fight for you. That is the ultimate statement of any ne'er do well politician and I want to be able to fight fire with fire.

Some of you may not know me or know of any of my accomplishments so let me begin with this.

I graduated from college in 1968------barely. One quarter I received 2 D's and an F and my GPA went up. Can any sane person deny this is what the common man aspires to be? In addition, my greatest fear in college was there would be a party going on. As FDR once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" so I have that problem covered, too.

Somehow, I conned my way into one of the most prestigious coaching jobs in the State of Iowa in '74 after having a so-so coaching record my first six years. "Hey, it always pays to dress well for interviews and have a better than average vocabulary. I've always been able to stand up in front of a crowd and tell them whatever they want to hear. This is a skill that will suit me well when I'm in the Oval Office.
Didn't JFK make it on his good looks. Just because I'm much older than JFK when he took office doesn't mean I have to sneak up a water fountain to get a drink. Plus, I'm much taller than Putin so I won't have to take any crap off him.

I don't have many family members to place in office so nepotism is out of the question but I do have many friends who are sports fanatics. If Obama can get press by shooting buckets I'll do just as well when I have two golf holes put on the back side of the White House. Gosh, I already love being president.

Finally, I've come up with a campaign slogan which I believe will illustrate my campaign and guarantee me the election. 'Vote for me and I'll give you whatever you want'.