A Blast From The Past: Calorie Intake

It's rainy and yucky out today so I thought it was the perfect opportunity to research the archives. This piece comes from November of '08.

I happened to catch Dr. Isadore what's his name on Fox TV this Sunday morning. He gives sage advice on health and living longer for older people. Today he talked about fiber; something about peas, I think. I didn't realize peas were high fiber but the Dr. said we should eat more. I thought high fiber food might be shredded wheat, popcorn and hay but certainly not peas. He also said we need to exercise. That's pretty much common sense. We all exercise but only to varying degrees. Sometimes, my exercise regimen is walking to the mailbox which is all the way across the street. It's possible to live to be one hundred-twenty five or longer if we exercise properly and eat the right things, he said. The guy even profiled a lady who was 94 years old. She was lifting 3 lb. weights and riding a stationary bike.
Better yet, she had a "boy toy;" a younger kid who was only 90. They said something about Viagara but I plugged my ears; I just didn't want to go down that road, or maybe it was a case of jealousy.****
The story ended up mentioning calories and how we should restrict them. Doc Isadore made a big deal out of cutting down calories. That's a hoot. He's big boy; might have to buy his suits at a tent and awning store.The fewer the calories one consumes he says, the longer we live. Somewhere I read, and I hope I'm right on this, an average sized man should have a daily intake of 2,300 calories.
I have one of those bodies that is "horizontally directional. It goes in and out without impediment. When I get really heavy I have a chest that would make Dolly Parton jealous. Check my closet and you'll know what I mean. I have pants with waistbands that read size 32 to 40. Saving size 34 makes me a positive thinker. Keeping size 32 slacks makes me a nut job. Since 1988 my weight has ranged from 188 lbs. to 261 lbs. It's interesting about being "fat". That person doesn't know it until they lose it. Then after you've shed the pounds your better half screws up the courage to tell you, "Wow, you were really fat". Once, when I was at my biggest, greatest, largest; I happened to be in Florida and stopped into a Burger King. I ordered a cup of coffee but only because I needed to use the men's room. As soon as I did one of the female order takers handed over a five dollar bill to her female co-worker. I saw the exchange and asked what that was all about. Her response was: "we saw you come in, made a bet and I lost. I had you for two Whoppers, two fries and a large shake". I think I started laughing but I might have been crying. Eventually, thanks to my good friend, Jenny Craig, I returned to near normalcy. Why was this narrative necessary? Well Dr. Isadore said that older adults should restrict themselves to 1,200 calories a day! Is he nuts? A plate of toe nails is more than 1,200 calories a day! Actually, 1200 calories would be equivalent to nine bowls of oatmeal. I can handle that. I like oatmeal.
I hope you appreciate my PSA. That's why I'm here.

****I heard a great line on last night's NCIS(10/11/11). It came from Anthony Dinozzo in reference to women older than 'Cougars' by twenty years. "They're still young enough to hunt but too old to take down the prey" Give that writer a raise!